The Writer’s Lens – E47: How Do We (Not) Handle Criticism And Feedback?

As a writer, I tend to handle criticism and feedback quite well. Nothing ever gets to me. There’s no negative press I can’t manage; no scathing review I can’t brush off as nothing more than white noise…

…or I could just be lying to myself. 

If you’ve ever written a story – especially something you feel strongly about – and had someone give you a negative reaction, you’ve probably felt like me: crushed. You may consider never writing again. You think it’d be best if the world never heard your voice. Your message. Ever.

That’s a tough place to find one’s self, but hey, you’re not alone. Even the most seasoned artists feel some pressure to appeal to their audiences. Yet putting our creative selves “out there” is only one part of the process; standing strong in the wave of responses is another. So, with this episode, I talk through some of the filters I’ve developed for dealing with the good, the bad, the ugly, and frankly, the apathetic.

And though you don’t have to use any of my tactics or filters, what I do hope is that you find this particular episode to be encouraging in your own creative journey.

Come now, all ye critics

Criticism can be a creative’s worst nightmare. Even if you’re aren’t of the creative mindset, you can still relate at some level. There’s a specific kind of hurt reserved for the one who hears his work is garbage; or crap; or downright putrid. That hurts. That hurts right in the “feels”. Yet, criticism is a part of the deal. The unwritten contract every artist / writer / author enters into. Be it knowingly or unknowingly.

I’ve been writing for a while now and I can honestly say that the “early days” of getting critiques were the hardest for me. Before that time, and when I was still under the protective hood of public school, I got patted on the back quite often for my penmanship. “You write well”; “You have great voice”; “You ought to consider doing this for a living someday” – yeah, I heard it all. And believed it too. And why not? It’s great getting noticed for something you enjoy doing. That’s a wonderful feeling. So, when I made the decision to pursue that passion, I found myself struck by a fascinating revelation: not everyone is going to like what you do (shocking news, isn’t it?).

Well, for an aspiring scribe, it can be a major jolt. Ego and all.Critics_Prep

Much later, I was listening in on a writer’s podcast and heard how a lot of writers are only interested in being discovered. They aren’t necessarily interested in getting better. They just want someone to tell them how good they are. Show’em some love. Make’em feel good. And after hearing this, I couldn’t agree more. Because that’s the place I was coming from. By now, I realize there are plenty of talented writers out there. I know this to be a fact. But, are they willing to do the work to get better? That’s the real question. And part of that “getting better” process is learning how to take criticism.

This trade off, this price to be paid if you ever intend to get paid, can make or break the deal. And what’s more, not everyone’s creative pace is the same. Last year, I bumped into a woman at a writer’s convention who told me she’d spent 11 years finishing her first book. Eleven years. I couldn’t even imagine. By comparison, it took me a year and a half to finally release The Road to Mars and that felt like an eternity! Yet, in hearing her story, it made see another grim truth: spending too much time in creating can keep you from ever finishing what you started. Which, in turn, can make a person dread the day a fair critique comes along. The payoff may never come. And that’s a pretty damn scary thing to think about.

But, I know myself. And I know that I’d rather get a fair critique than an empty pat on the back. That’s the greatest service any writer can get. Well, aside from a few purchases. That’s always cool too.