Epiphany: To be a meteorologist … sounds cool and I should’ve done it.

If there’s one job I regret never taking, it’d be reporting on the weather. Do yourself a favor and think about that statement right quick. You are reporting. On the weather. That is, to give information; provide info, feedback and forecasting. On the weather.

Could any job be more cushioned? Businesses, small and large, topple and crumble daily but if there’s one thing that will forever be a constant in an ever-changing market, it’s the weather. You’re going to have good weather and you’re going to have bad weather. It don’t get much simpler than that. The only thing missing are the right people to track the darned phenomenon and let us know whether we can go t-shirt or long sleeves on any given day.

And because of that fact, I should have done it.

I should have considered such a career path as a weather reporter. But not just because of the eternal cycle of seasons. No, I’d also be a weatherman due to the lack of commitment required for delivering the most accurate reportings. Is it supposed to rain today? Heck, if I know. Let’s take a look outside shall we? Ok, well there seems to be some dark clouds hovering off in the distance…last I checked that means rain…well…let me think…ok – I’m thinking maybe a 25% chance of rain. No, I take that back, how about 33%? Yeah, that’s much more vague and if the rain actually does come, then I’ll look incredibly awesome. In the follow up show, I’ll preach on how correct I was when I assumed 33% rather than 25%. And let’s face it, being 1/3 of the way right versus 1/4 leaves me with the appearance that I am far more credible than my competitors.

Take this for example: If you play major league baseball, you pray for similar success. If you hit .333, then you’re doing well. Try working at anything else with your life and you’re unlikely to find other jobs where being correct or attaining achievement less than half the time warrants applause. Not that I’m clapping for you guys in front of those green boards down at Channel 5, but if one of you folks can warn me about the potential downpour I’ll be faced with in the next two hours, then hey, I’ll feel like you’ve done your job. Plus I’ll be more inclined to listen in on future broadcasts.

And that’s what these masters of the barometer are after – faithful followers.

Weathermen (and women) want your attention when they project that one in a million circumstance correctly. Six inches of snow in April? Didn’t see that coming but thanks for the heads-up. Humidity that’s thick enough to make you feel like you’re walking through a cottage cheese? Seems improbable but gosh darn it, thats what it felt like this morning. I guess I’m hooked now on your advice.

Don’t get me wrong though – my intent here is not to bash, ridicule or even belittle the weather reporter. No, I’m just slightly bitter that these people were clearly the smart ones. Instead of allowing countless Career Days to sway their logic about who or what they should be when they grow up, these childhood masterminds went ahead and saw the big picture. A picture that was full of green screens, animated rainstorms, and strangely-shaped cold fronts that appear as giant triangles across the U.S.

Yes, I envy the lot of you but I also praise you for your own intuitive wisdom. And if I may say it, your ability to “forecast” a future as bright as a Sunday morning in July. so keep on keepin’ on. I look forward to your next broadcast, no matter how potentially wrong it may be.

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