Epiphany: When you attend a wedding and/or reception… chances are very likely that you’ll hear some rendition of the Electric Slide.

I’ve been really debating for a while as to what my first epiphany/theory/thought should be for this blog. I considered epiphanies on dating, theories about the universe…heck, even thoughts on why I believe Pluto is still a planet (which it totally should be, of course). But in the end, I settled on a more current topic in my life: attending weddings.

Since I’m in my mid-20s, it’s just that time of my life to be attending wedding after wedding after wedding…after wedding and this perpetual cycle all but started a few years ago when I was graduated from college. Where many of the folks I went to school with were still looking for jobs, my closest friends were contemplating “taking the plunge”. Some of them had jobs lined up, and even if they didn’t, they weren’t going to let the lack of a full-time gig stand in their way. Nay, they wanetd to get hitched and nothing was going to deter that from happening.

And happen, it did. One by one my friends took their respective walks down the aisle. Sure, we cheered, we laughed and yes, some of us even cried (not me), but these gatherings created some of the best memories I’ve had in my relatively short existence. Not just because they’re weddings either. Granted, all weddings are seen as joyous occasions, but when you get to be a part of them, or intimately know the participants, it’s just that much more exciting to spend a really special day with the bride and groom. That and totally mack on the bridesmaids. That’s pretty cool, too.

But what makes the experience the most intimate is not the wedding. Nor is it the shared wedding cake. And it’s certainly not the after party when everyone else heads home from the reception (although that does leave for some other ‘intimate’ moments to transpire). But all of these pale in coparison to the singular thing that every DJ across America shares in: playing the “Electric Slide”.

I wonderi if Marcia Griffith, the originator of the “Electric Boogie”, could forsee the impact her song would have on post-wedding parties. I’m sure she had high hopes for this song, but unless she were some prodigy of Nostradamus, it’s very doubtful that she did. However, if she had, she probably would have started buying small islands in the south Pacific. I mean, that’s probably what I would have done if I had known my success was iminent. Just throwing that out there, people….

If I had to guess, I’d say I’ve been to at least 16 weddings in the last five years. If you do the math, then that’s about 3 per year for all you math majors in the audience. Seems like a small number but the payments you make to cover the cost of your dish sure add up after a while. Granted I don’t know what I would have done with the extra hundred bucks I’ve given away over the years, but in hindsight, I may have made a separate savings account called “the marriage pool”. It’d be the accumulation of any/all monies that I would be budgeting to buy things after the rush of weddings was over. And when the last of my friends walked down the aisle, I’d empty my savings account and buy something really nice for myself. Something like a tattoo with the words “Never Be Tamed” or a Harley complete with tassled leather jacket. Yeah, I think those are both pretty practical.

Financial burdens aside, we are supposed to be talking about the Electric Slide here. The song itself isn’t amazing by any means. It’s a simple line dance with a nice harmony and a rhythm that’s easily replicated by those who have either of the following: a) a heartbeat and b) two feet. Basically you can’t screw this jig up if you can at least walk to the dance floor. Which is precisely why the song gets played so often. If you happen to be rhythmically challenged, it’s the one ticket you’ll get to a place that will forever keep you absent most of the night. As for me, I’m usually out there once Billie Jean hits the airwaves. Thankfully that one doesn’t have to be requested too often either. But if it isn’t, I try to get it on the playlist ASAP.

However, as good as MJ is at getting me out there, it’s the Electric Slide that gets the rest of the party started. The really savvy DJ’s will play it early on, so as to break the ice and try to get people moving before they won’t later on. And by all accounts, that makes the most sense. Not everyone is going to be out on the dance floor the entire night, but if you want that boring aunt and uncle to get up off their arses, you play a line dance. Sure, there are other “classics” like the Hokey Pokey, Cupid Shuffle, and some guy who talks about doing the Charlie Brown, but these all play second fiddle to a song whose catch phrase is two simple words: “It’s electric!”

And yes, Martha, after all these years, it still is electric. Fortunate for some, unfortunate for others, and downright predictable to people like myself who have to hear it about once every three weeks in the summertime. Ah well, if there’s one thing this rant has brought out of me, it’s this: I need to make that wedding savings account like I mentioned earlier. I may never get a tattoo, but a motorcycle sounds pretty cool right about now.

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